Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Benjamin's photo shoot

These pictures just make me SMILE!! I have not had the best week (understatement of the century) and looking at sweet pictures of my kids always makes me smile. Benjamin had his pictures taken last night and OH.MY.GOSH!! AMAZING!

I also need to express my feelings about another little boy I just adore. My sweet Jackson. 2 days ago I decided that something was just not right with him and I took him to the doctor. They immediatly sent us to the hospital for some lab work. The results of this lab work was not pleasing. It showed very high white and red blood cells, and high platelets. What does this mean? Could be a few different things. A major infection in the body (what we are actually hoping for), Leukemia (makes me break down and cry just thinking about it being that) or Mono. Well the Mono test came back negative. His blood tests were then sent to a patholigist and oncologist and will be reviewed. Under initial review they both feel that Jackson needs his bone marrow tested. All I can do when I think about them drilling a hole in my sons hip is scream!!! THIS IS SO UNFAIR! No child should undergo such agony, and no parent should witness their child in so much pain. We are waiting to hear back from the doctor to see if they still feel this is needed. Another option is to wait a couple of weeks, and run a new panel and see if any changes happen. Jackson is amazing, I love this kid so much and as frustrating as he can be, he always has time to give you a hug. He is always so kind to everyone, and the first to offer to help when needed. His best friend has cerebral palsy and Jackson is so loving towards him and is always helping him at school and with his walker/chair. Instead of teasing his friend he thinks its the coolest thing "mommy 'K' has the coolest set of wheels ever!! How lucky is he!!"
I am feeling blessings and love all around me and know my family is being watched over. I know that everything happens for a reason, and things like this can only make you stronger. Just as I was feeling weak and tired, this situation gets put into my life. I am angry, and scared, but also feel that going through this will make me appreciate the people I love even more. And I will cherish every single second I have with my kids. They are truly a blessing and I feel like I am the luckiest mom in the world. Jackson just sat up on the couch and out of no where said "mommy, I sure do love you". I sure do love him.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Benjamin Dwight Stephens

Well I am late!! Things have been a little BUSY around here, but I do have some free time right now!! Benjamin was born on Monday, May 31 at 9:37 pm! He weighed 8lb 7 oz and was 21 1/2 inches long. Seems "Not so bad eh?"
Lets start from the beginning. I checked in to the hospital at 8 am. Got all hooked up, they started pitocin around 10:00 am, and my water broke at 12 noon. Easy right? WRONG. i got the epidural pretty quick this time around because the contractions were SOOOOO insane I couldnt see straight, literally. I got all dizzy and felt like I was totally tripping out!! The pain was THAT bad. Never in my experience with having babies, have I felt THAT pain before. It was SOOOO sharp and cruel!!
The epidural man came in and I fell in love with him. He just made everything awesome. I was dilated to a 3, and stood at a 3 for most of the day-seriously pissed me off. Then I finally got to a 4. And then creeped up to a 7, then to a 10!! So I went from a 4-10 in about 30 mins!! It was AWESOME!! But Benjamin just loves my uterus so much he stayed as high as he could go and would not drop down!! My doctor had me do some pushes, and nothing was happening. He told me to rest, and lay on my side and see if he would drop on his own. He did. And with my other kids I had the most gnarly chills, puked, became a literal devil woman and was a complete monster when I was in transition, this time... TOTALLY different. I just layed there and had fun!! My BFF Bethany came over to hang out with me and Jake and take some fun pictures. We just had so much fun!! The nurses, med student, my OB were in shock when they came in after seeing my "strip" and saw me laughing!! I was having some intense contractions but didnt feel anything!! AWESOME!
A few pushes later, I was told to STOP. Benjamin was sideways. He should have been face down shoulders across... but he was L-O-A, and had shoulder distocia. I totally spelled that wrong, sorry. He was STUCK, and he was pinching his cord with his shoulders every time I pushed. Not to mention, the cord was wrapped around his neck TWO times. The kid was trying to hang himself!! My doctor said "life here isnt that bad, what did you do that for!!" Again, making me laugh and trying to keep me calm. He didnt tell me the severity of it until AFTER he was born. But I knew something was wrong when I had a nurse literally lay on top of me PUSHING on my stomach in ways that shouldnt be legal. Benjamin popped out, and he was rushed off to the NICU nurses to be checked out since he wasnt crying and he was pretty much a smurf. After no more than 30 seconds, Benjamin SCREAMED and turned into "patrick star".
I then found out the damage that the delivery caused. OUCH. 4 tears, 14 stitches later... I think I held my pee in for the whole time I was in the hospital after the first time the nurse MADE me pee, in front of her none the less, and she heard me SCREAM like someone poured acid on my lady area.
It was a scary delivery but everything is great now, and Benjamin is doing awesome! he is the cutest thing ever! And I am IN LOVE!~! Life with 5 kids is pretty much insane, but so worth it. The kids LOVE him. Well, almost. Porter is not sure what to think, Lily and Jackson ADORE him, and Amelie loves to say "bee bee...ooooh oooh ahhhh" and give "love pats" which arent so loving.
I feel ok, still have some healing to do, but other than that, I am happy!! I have 5 amazing kids, and KNOW that I am truly blessed.